Things Better NOB--They can go fishing!

[RickS]

[Kiko]

[moderator-2]

This is not an immigration debate thread.

 

[ibarra]

[ibarra]

[ibarra]

[Go Solar]

[Natasha]

[Ferret]

[Natasha]

 

[NEWMtnMama]

[Kiko]

[ibarra]

[Kiko]

[OldWEB]

[Whipstock]

[Whipstock]

[Whipstock]

Groan

[Mainecoons]

[ibarra]

“Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.” - Oscar Wilde

“Don’t be so humble — you are not that great.” - Golda Meir

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.” - Jack Handey

“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” - Fran Lebowitz

“If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” - Phyllis Diller

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” - Elbert Hubbard

“If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” - Margaret Thatcher

“I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” - George Carlin

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” - Dave Barry

“Bad decisions make good stories.” - Ellis Vidler

“Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” - Phyllis Diller

“Whatever you do, always give 100%. Unless you’re donating blood.” - Bill Murray

“When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” - Ron White

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” - Winston Churchill

“Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.” - Dick Van Dyke

“We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.” - Bryan White

“Even a stopped clock is right twice every day.” - Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

“As you get older, three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.” - Norman Wisdom

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.” - George Carlin

“People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.” - Mike Bechtle

“Someone asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island what book would I bring: ‘How to Build a Boat.’” - Steven Wright

“Sometimes you lie in bed at night and you don’t have a single thing to worry about. That always worries me!” - Charlie Brown

“People waste their time pondering whether a glass is half empty or half full. Me, I just drink whatever’s in the glass.” - Sophia Petrillo

“Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” - Charles Schulz

“I’m not crazy — I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.” - Ouiser Boudreaux

“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” - Billie Burke

“I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.” - Mae Wes

“My mother always used to say, ‘The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.’” - Rose Nylund

“A peacock that rests on his tail feathers is just another turkey.” - Dolly Parton

“Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.” - Robert Orben

“It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

“The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary.” - Vince Lombardi

“Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” - Franklin P. Jones

“If you think your boss is stupid, remember: You wouldn’t have a job if he was any smarter.” - John Gotti

“If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito.” - Dalai Lama

“The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one.” - Oscar Wilde

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” - Robert Frost

“Whoever said that money can’t buy happiness, simply didn’t know where to go shopping.” - Bo Derek

“Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.” - Paula Poundstone

[Kiko]

[Jreboll]

[Kiko]

@ibarra, from the above post,  “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” - Phyllis Diller

The twist on that quote that I heard is "Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will smuggle vodka into your nursing home,"

[Natasha]

[Ferret]

"Places I've Been"
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work. I live close so it's a short drive. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump to get there, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not. People keep telling me I'm in Denial but I'm positive I've never been there before! I have been in Deepshit many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there. I actually kind of enjoy it there. So far, I haven't been in Continent, but my travel agent says I'll be going soon.