BenjiBoy Posted September 19, 2023 Report Share Posted September 19, 2023 Some will say, "you waited too long" others may say, " she is getting her last wishes!" The morning that I was due to visit multiple locations she took a further turn for the worse....I haven't the heart to move her at this stage....our daughter comes on Monday to give me a week of assistance and I doubt there will be much more time after her visit. Barbara cannot stand unassisted, cannot use the bathroom, eats virtually nothing and drinks little. For those who have helped via pms....thanks, thanks. Fred 8 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ibarra Posted September 19, 2023 Report Share Posted September 19, 2023 Thank you for the update, Fred. I may not know you or Barbara personally but, you are in my thoughts continuously. It sounds like you have a plan that is best for your whole family. 4 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kam Posted September 19, 2023 Report Share Posted September 19, 2023 I would never judge the choices people make in these circumstances. You've done a heroic job and I am glad you are getting some help. Best to you and Barbara. 5 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Natasha Posted September 19, 2023 Report Share Posted September 19, 2023 Fred you've certainly demonstrated to all your profound commitment to " .... for better and for worse.... " Because I've recently been a little more connected with you than some, in my heart I can answer "no, you didn't wait too long". She's always made it clear she wants to die at home, with you holding her hand. At least having your daughter there will allow sharing of your heavy burden. You've all suffered long enough. May she pass quickly and in peace. 🙏 14 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hensley Posted September 19, 2023 Report Share Posted September 19, 2023 We are so sorry to hear this Fred, our thoughts and prayers are with you both!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timjwilson Posted September 19, 2023 Report Share Posted September 19, 2023 8 hours ago, Natasha said: Fred you've certainly demonstrated to all your profound commitment to " .... for better and for worse.... " Because I've recently been a little more connected with you than some, in my heart I can answer "no, you didn't wait too long". She's always made it clear she wants to die at home, with you holding her hand. At least having your daughter there will allow sharing of your heavy burden. You've all suffered long enough. May she pass quickly and in peace. 🙏 Amen. May we all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenjiBoy Posted September 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 I can only express my profound thanks for all the support I have received...it would have been much harder to face and go on without so many of you sending your best wishes. Fred Habacht 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiko Posted September 20, 2023 Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 Hey Fred I slid by the garage sale this afternoon and the ladies were very friendly. Hope all continues well for you and yours. Send me a whatsapp msg whenever you get caught up. Un fuerte abrazo Jocotepense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NEWMtnMama Posted September 20, 2023 Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 I understand that Barbara wants you to be the one to help her, but a home health nurse might be a blessing for you both. Talk to Mari Guzman at Chapala Medical 331 197 6375. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenjiBoy Posted September 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 If my wife is still functioning after our daughter's visit...I will consider other paths...for now I am not adding more wood to the fire... I have been fortunate to have very close Mexican friends who give up their time to assist me...and mentally I am helped by the friendship that they so freely give and get little in exchange but my love. My wife is aware and is facing this conclusion and still thanks me for the little I can do for her......I try to never leave her alone for long and she is glad that I did not move her from her home and add strangers to help care for her. I am now and will remain her nurse and care giver. Fred 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pappysmarket Posted September 20, 2023 Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 5 hours ago, BenjiBoy said: If my wife is still functioning after our daughter's visit...I will consider other paths...for now I am not adding more wood to the fire... I have been fortunate to have very close Mexican friends who give up their time to assist me...and mentally I am helped by the friendship that they so freely give and get little in exchange but my love. My wife is aware and is facing this conclusion and still thanks me for the little I can do for her......I try to never leave her alone for long and she is glad that I did not move her from her home and add strangers to help care for her. I am now and will remain her nurse and care giver. Fred Stay strong Fred you are doing exactly what she wants. She may even reach a stage where you think she has no grasp of what is going on...until you are holding that hand that seems lifeless and suddenly she squeezes your hand. She needs what you are doing. God bless you for that. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tingting Posted September 20, 2023 Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 I don't know either you or Barbara, Fred, but it sounds like you are doing everything and more for your wife. You sound like an amazing man and I wish both of you all the best during this difficult time. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jreboll Posted September 20, 2023 Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 One thing you could do is bring in an experienced nurse to check out the comfort level of your wife. Sometimes little things make a big difference for a patient. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BenjiBoy Posted September 20, 2023 Author Report Share Posted September 20, 2023 A pain management doctor visits every two days and a man from Jocotepec hospital to assist me in giving meds every night. Somehow, I have stumbled thru and kept her alive for 10 years after a three year death, for sure, prediction...I plan on the same "stumbling" along for as long as I can. My daughter is a trained med tech from Atlanta and we will sing "Confederate War hymns " to my wife...whether she wants them or not. Thanks for the thoughts...... Fred 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jreboll Posted September 21, 2023 Report Share Posted September 21, 2023 I was thinking of using foam pads on the bony areas, keeping lips moist, using eye drops if needed, etc. Dehydration has secondary effects that can be uncomfortable. Doctors and med techs never watch out for these things 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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