Life Ongoing

By Christy Wiseman

I loved watching the royal wedding and seeing all the details that had been so carefully planned and which were so perfectly executed. One joyous day in front of millions, how refreshing! After so many years of vilification, having Prince Charles escort Meghan Markle down the aisle was a nice touch.  

Charles did what the crown demanded. He married a young, beautiful, wonderfully innocent girl who was just at the beginning of becoming. They had two sons together. Both spouses were miserable, but the continuation of the lineage was established. Each spouse  grew in their own separate ways. The ultimate outcome was divorce.  

Life at times can be difficult enough and even more so when not having a complete commitment with your partner. Some can live with that, some cannot. 

I’ve heard it said that “true honor is in living with a commitment even after the situation under which the commitment was made has changed.”  I’m not sure I agree with that as there are so many variables possible in that equation. After Diana died, Charles was allowed to marry Camilla. Love and commitment by both sustain them.

Now at last, the public sees this future monarch being the elegant and thoughtful man we want to think it has always been in his heart to be. I was especially touched by his reaching out to take the hand of Meghan’s mother as they walked into the antechamber to sign papers. The silent but powerful lesson here is that true kindness and inclusion doesn’t care about color.

One of the things that struck me about the wedding is the innocence of the young. When you marry in your youth, you seldom think that someday there will be a time for parting. When you marry, you two “become one flesh.”  You become part of one another and in a good marriage the two separate people, good in their own right, become synergistic as one.  

A couple goes through life and creates a history, often raising children, working out differences, having shared experiences, hopefully having a  true helpmate. Then, often as you retire and begin to enjoy the life you’ve both built, one partner is called to God and you are left alone, with memories and wishes for even one more day. 

Do it now. Have your “one more day” now, if “now” is still yours to have.

I was so pleased to hear that special word, “protect,” instead of “obey” in the vows Harry and Meghan were making. Each at different times in their lives may need to become the stronger and the rock, protecting the other. When “eternity” clarifies its definition, you must make a choice. Do you live in memories or do you let go of the past so that you can have a future, understanding that the past always will be a big part of what makes you who you now are?  

For those whose partners died, once in awhile, if your marriage has been a good one, you are lucky enough to find someone you enjoy, (coming with their own baggage,) and you have other choices. Can you be inclusive and loving and be a helpmate once again and adjust once more to the vagaries of another formed personality (since that period of life has been accomplished?)

The transition from the decision can take a very long time and is often tied to an inability to change or to a lack of desire to do so. You can learn to be independent. There are advantages. It is now yours to decide in what ways you want to create the rest of your life path in a way that is right for you. I personally like the verse, “Grow old along with me…” Were it so easily accomplished!  

Hopefully it will become a reality for Harry and Meghan. Or do you just move in together and live as “an item,” but without any firm, formal, commitment before God, in a ceremony we call marriage?  

Not marrying leaves some leeway, depending on your beliefs, which you may or may not find personally advantageous. There are reasons for each decision that only those making them truly know.

For me, it was so joyous to see the wedding of Harry and Meghan as they seem to each be 100% committed to the other. May their lives be filled with love, pure motives and may they continue to give loving examples to others, both through their relationship and through their examples of love in action with the people they help.

For myself as an older person, (but as an incurable romantic,) I do believe that love is the answer to so much in our current lives. Hopefully it also has within it the fire, strength and courage we all need to live comfortably within our belief system and with confidence and joy, on our own path to eternity.