Andy Rooney On Sex!

andy rooney20121. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory.... I don’t remember what I chose.

2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.

4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”

5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.

6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.

7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.

8. Virginity can be cured.

9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.

10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.

11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.

12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.

13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.

14. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole and she was happy with the Thing.

15. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man’s life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn’t.

16. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don’t have eyes.

17. Despite the old saying, ‘Don’t take your troubles to bed’, many men still sleep with their wives! To the men who need a laugh and the women with a good sense of humour!

primi sui motori con e-max

Add comment

Security code
Refresh

The Rainbow Kid By James Tipton   A long time ago, when a few people still loved him, the Rainbow Kid reached this place on the plains of Denver:
November 2014 Please select one: Online format Only articles (respond to any article here) Magazine style format Articles
Editor’s Page By Alejandro Grattan-Dominguez The Biggest Little Man In Mexico   (Note: Norberto Mejia recently passed away at a relatively young
A Balloon In Cactus By Maggie Van Ostrand   I arrive very early at the San Antonio Tlayacapan Catholic Church, for the confirnmation of Fernando,
Anyone Can Train Their Dog By Art Hess artthedogguy@yahoo.com Grandpa’s Dog Sense   Many of us inherited a lot of our “dog learnin’”

Our Issues

October 2014

july2011-ojo

September 2014

july2011-ojo

August 2014

july2011-ojo

July 2014

july2011-ojo

June 2014

july2011-ojo

May 2014

july2011-ojo

April 2014

july2011-ojo

 

More....