Nifty One-Liners

 

jack-benny1Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

If you’re in hell with someone, and you’re still mad at them, where do you tell them to go?

I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.

My ex-wife says that she will dance on my grave. I’ve now arranged to be buried at sea.

The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly and lie about your age.

I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.

If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?

You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

Some folks are so eager to find fault, you’d think there’s a reward.

Life is like a doughnut. You’re either in the dough or in the hole.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

I wish my mouth had a backspace key.

I saw a bald eagle the other day. All of its feathers were combed over to one side.

For every person with a spark of genius, there are a hundred with ignition trouble.

Sometimes I just can’t prevent clean thoughts from entering my mind.

Sex is a three-letter word which needs some four-letter words to convey its full meaning.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

When life seems like an uphill climb, take comfort in the fact that you’re mooning everyone behind you.

primi sui motori con e-max

Add comment

Security code
Refresh

Parched Dreams By Tom Eck   As she lay in the shade, Zahra knew the end was near. The morning trek had been marked more by the time she crawled
  The Conservative Corner By Robert L. Nipper December 2014 What a Disappointment! November 2014  The Conservative
December 2014 Please select one: Online format Only articles (respond to any article here) Magazine style format Articles
Editor’s Page By Alejandro Grattan-Dominguez For more editorials, visit: http://thedarksideofthedream.com   (Note: Given President Obama’s
The Life And Lessons Of St. Francis Of Assisi By Dr. Lorin Swinehart   It was a bitterly cold Christmas Eve in 1223, in the tiny Italian mountain

Our Issues

November 2014

july2011-ojo

October 2014

july2011-ojo

September 2014

july2011-ojo

August 2014

july2011-ojo

July 2014

july2011-ojo

June 2014

july2011-ojo

May 2014

july2011-ojo

 

More....