El Ojo del Lago

MY MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT

By Paul Jackson

Don’t call me a cad, let’s just say I loved beautiful women a little too much. Women here, there and everywhere. So it happened that I dated two women in the same night. With disastrous consequences.

As canny as can be, there was a political convention going on at the prestigious hotel across the street, and two prestigious restaurants a block away down the street.

These were restaurants frequented by politicians, journalists and top government officials, so what with a daily newspaper column and TV appearances, everyone knew me and I knew them. If only it hadn’t been so.

Whatever, when I took lady number one to the first restaurant I explained I would have to nip out every half-hour and pop my head into the political convention. Meanwhile, with the other lady at the other restaurant just a block away, and I gave her the same story.

So, first woman,  soup - then off to the ‘convention.’

Second woman, soup - then off to the ‘convention.’

Next, first woman,  salad - then back to the ‘convention.’

Second woman salad - then, again back to the ‘convention.’

Rotating all the time.

It came to a head when woman number one got suspicious and quietly followed me. With that, I’m sitting in restaurant number two, charming lady friend number two, and I get a tap on the shoulder. Looking up,  there was furious woman number one.

She simply picked up my glass of red wine, and woman number two’s glass of red wine, and poured one over my head, and tossed the other into my face. The wine trickled down onto my lovely light camel hair sport jacket.

Looks from everyone in the restaurant—and blushes and a red face from me.

Talk about embarrassing.

Worse was to follow. I actually did have to go to the tail-end of the convention, so there I was stained in red wine. For that, despite quizzical looks, there was no explanation.

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