Fur On The Furniture

By Thetis Reeves

 

badDogHow do you protect your furniture from dusty-pawed dogs and hair-shedding cats that simply refuse to stay in their place on the floor? Do you spread towels over the seat cushions? Or sheets over the entire chair or sofa? Or drape colorful Mexican spreads from the markets, convincing yourself that the effect is just as good as the look of the fabrics you chose so carefully and now rarely get to see? Do you run around when guests are expected removing the sheets, towels and blankets knowing that the dog or cat will soon occupy any chair that you or the guests are not seated upon? Do you pretend to be shocked when your sixty-pound dog wedges himself between guests on the sofa and tell them that he never gets on the furniture but obviously he can think of no other way to be really close to his two most favorite people? Do you tell the dog sternly to get down and he doesn’t, so you tug at his collar so firmly that it slides over his head while he stays put? Do you anticipate as you read this that the definitive solution to pets not wanted on furniture is about to be offered? I hope not. Those answers may be found in pet training manuals and dog obedience classes (where the dog behaves perfectly until it gets home).

No, what I’m suggesting is a change in your attitude. Get over the embarrassment and frustration. Think of Dog as Décor and Cat as Conversation Piece. Convince yourself and lead your friends to believe that your entire home is color coordinated with the earth tones of your dogs and cats in mind, that your sense of interior design includes fur coats that are vibrantly alive and placed anywhere but on the floor for best effect. Think of the cat that sprawls across the clutter on your desk as a paper weight, a very helpful, thoughtful one. Try blowing hard on the key board to make stray hairs float away. Consider your cat that ingeniously slips under the sheet covering the sofa to spread itself out of sight across your linen cushions as especially clever. Brag about this to your friends and they’ll want pets just like yours. Watch for dog and cat adoption rates to go sky high. Ojala!

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