El Ojo del Lago

THUNDER ON THE RIGHT

By Paul Jackson

OK, OK - Finally I’ll admit it. Liberals seem to have a heck of a lot more fun in life than we Conservatives. Democrats are a breezy, devil-may-care lot; we Republicans are far too serious and staid.

Take Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. All Rod was trying to do in negotiating that Senate seat was to make himself financially secure. Very entrepreneurial when you think about it. Kind of free enterprise spirit that made American great.

Take New York State’s Eliot Spitzer. Described by many as the “future of the Democratic party” Eliot built his political career crusading for higher ethical and moral standards. Who can condemn that? Certainly not the high-priced call girl for which our boy shelled out $4,000-a-crack. His arduous campaign to clear NYC of its streetwalkers and massage parlors obviously didn’t apply to him.

Next we come to presidential contender John Edwards. John also campaigned on a platform of ethics and morality. When he got caught in his long-term adulterous tryst, John explained it wasn’t as bad as it looked, since his wife’s cancer was in remission at the time. You’re all heart, John.

Then we come to New Jersey’s Jim McGreevey. Turns out the governor with a beautiful wife, and a real family values agenda, began an adulterous affair—and with a man, no less—while she was in hospital giving birth to their child. No nail-biting in the waiting room for Jim. Add to that, the man in Jim’s love life, Israeli-born Golan Cipel, also curiously snagged a job as the state’s homeland security secretary, just to keep him occupied when the governor was busy on really official business.

When the sexual frolics of these three Democratic stalwarts became public, the party hierarchy, who would have been out for blood had they been Republicans, urged the public to forget about the issues because they were hurtful private family matters.

Then we have the likes of cabinet aspirants Tom Daschle, Tim Geithner and Nancy Killefer. All three had problems—until discovered—coughing up to the taxman. Tom claimed he didn’t really know how he could have forgotten about the $140,000 he never declared to the IRS. Cripes, Tom, that’s about three times what the average American makes in a year.
Perhaps these dedicated individuals took their lessons from Democratic Congressman Charles Rangel who also forgot to inform the tax collectors of some of his money-making endeavors.

Anyway, the list of fun-loving Democrats goes on, and on and on.
And what do we Republicans have? Why only Larry Craig. Larry, who looks perpetually perplexed, got caught playing footsie in the men’s washroom. Hey, Larry, for cripe’s sake, the women’s washroom is at the other end of the corridor!